I LOLLED ON A LILLIPAD

I lolled on a lillipad in perfect peace. I was naked and the feeling of the green wet lillipad against my back and butt, and the hot yellow sun beaming down upon my frontal nudity was an exquisite combination. Being shrunken down to a tiny size by my father, who had then had to admit his accidentally doing so to his wife, had been a blessing in disguise. I felt I had gained a whole new perspective on life, and though there was a lingering sense of paranoia in the back of my mind that a frog might leap onto me at any moment, that too would be a new experience.

DON'T LET ME GO

Don't let me go, because I might not stop falling and even if this creek bed looks only 100 metres down and it seems death is fortchcoming and inevita=ble, I might just fall through and past it all and into a void and then you'll never stop hearing me screaming, and then you'll be at the supermarket checkout and the lady will ask, "cash or card?" and you'll keep saying "What?" because you can't hear for my screams that haunt you.

DRAMBUIE LIPS THEY CALLED ME

Drambuie lips they called me, it was dripping off them all the time. This sweet liqueur I poured wantonly down my throat and all over my lips, dripping off like fine brown crystals, hitting the concrete and making it sweet and wooozy. Sometimes if I dripped enough the concrete would wrench itself from the ground and stumble over to the park bench with me. It's heavy, cracking arm around my shoulder, slurring into my ear it's pledges of friendship and willingness to crush anybody who spoke poorly of me.

BLACK AND WHITE GARFIELD CAME OUT OF THE PAGES

Black and white Garfield came out of the pages of the comic book and onto my coffee table. At first he was the tiny size of the comic strip square, but over a matter of minutes, while flickering and groaning horrifically, he blew up to the size of a large cat. He continued to make unearthly noises, while thought bubbles appeared above his head filled with crude, shaky lettering. "Where am I? What happening? Wheregyoiunng? Aarggyundsu?" His eyes looked at me pleadingly. I was backed against the wall in horror and had no idea what to do. My childhgood dreams had come horrifically true.