PIANOS WERE FALLING FROM THE SKY

Pianos were falling from the sky and I have to say, it made me pretty nervous. I generally think myself a lucky guy and you think to yourself, "that'll never happen to me, a piano falling on my head?" But when they're falling left, right and centre, making huge holes in the ground as they plunge down toward the molten core of the earth, the odds can start to make you a little uneasy. plus there's all those holes to fall in now. I've always wanted to visit the centre of the earth, but maybe in a special suit on some kind of well planned expedition with some scienticians, not just falling in a hole made by a piano and screaming in terror the whole way down and never getting to enjoy all the sights.

SOUTH OF THE BORDER

South of the border, garlands of flowers hang around every neck, a smile on every face, a can of cheap watery beer in each hand. There are burros, and horses, and gringos, and ladies selling trinkets, and tacos float down softly from the clouds as if they have parachutes. When I am there, I will be walking 1 foot off the ground, that is to say I will be walking suspended in the air twelve inches, not hopping along on one foot. In fact perhaps I will be moonwalking through the air, observing everything as I walk away from it. but then I would see tasty things too late and already be on my way away from them. No, fuck that, I will walk forwards.

ALL MY DAYS AND NIGHTS

all my days and nights I throb inside with a purple heart heart that pumps concentric circles of light through my body, it goes into the air and drifts through my neighbourhood in search of a lady who is nowhere to be found. Into the storm drains, up over the power lines, down into the ocean it goes, but she is ensconced in a cave, surrounded by a thousand books, working working working away.

MOLASSES

Molasses was everywhere. We were very sticky. Waking up in such a sticky, molasses filled room is disturbing at the best of times, but when you have just been reincarnated as a kangaroo baby, it can be simply too much to bear. When a bear started to run toward us, roaring in hunger, I thought I may have a heart attack. But the bear too was stuck in the molasses, unable to move, and his roars of hunger became sad, confused whimpers. We stared into each others eyes, and that special moment was a watershed in bear / baby kangaroo relations. We were truly the same.

GOING TO THE LIQUOR STORE

Going down to the liquor store is such a pleasurable experience, all the colours and tastes to sear your mind and tongue, oh, at times it becomes too much and I fall to floor and have a seizure right there in the store from the thought of it. then my spirit leaves my body and wanders down the aisles, having little sips of everything, tasting the fine liqueurs and aperitifs. my spirit cannot get drunk but enjoys the taste and gets a warm glowing warming glow in it's spirit stomach. If I have still not woken from my seizure after a while, my spirit leaves the shop and goes down the street to taste some cheese.

OVER THE TOP

Over the top of the man's hand came the other man's hand, were they arm wrestling or was this some strange intimate ritual that the onlookers could not understand? they seemed to slip and slide until in the eyes of the surrounding men, they became snakes entwined, slippery and beautiful. the onlookers shook and gasped as they began to swallow each other whole, and then all of a sudden they were gone, swallowed up and exited from the place. Everybody stood silently, unsure whether they were dreaming or drugged or simply witnessing some really freaky shit.

BOILING WATER

boiling water speeds to the surface the bubbles explode in magnificent waves that travel all the way over the surface. the pungent smell that escapes enters the nose of vietnamese fishermen. they find it most unpleasant and respond with great hacking sounds. Eventually it becomes too much, they jump overboard and attempt to drown, but are saved by giant carp that swoop them up and take them to a magical island. In this place they are regarded as kings by fairys in the woods, who build them wooden temples and dote on their every wish with dangled grapes and sighs of pleasure. "Oh", said one fisherman to the other, "how thankful I now am for that terrible smell."