I'LL BE WITH YOU IN APPLE BLOSSOM TIME

I'll be with you in apple blossom time, under the tree. We will climb it and it's branches will twist around us as we embrace. We will be covered in apple blossoms as we kiss and eventually it will cut off our oxygen and we will die. And in the winter time when the blossoms have fallen and the tree is bare, we will be on display, pressed up against each other, cradled by the branches, until we are covered again in the next apple blossom time.

TROMBONES FELL FROM THE SKY

Trombones fell from the sky and landed on the heads of every human in unison. Everybody looked hilarious with a trombone stuck on their head, but nobody could see how hilarious everybody else looked because they all had trombones stuck on their heads, covering their eyes. People bumped into each other and heard the clanging of trombones stuck together, and eventually people started bending other people over and playing their trombones. The heads stuck in them made quite a mute, but you could still get a pretty good sound going on.

TWIRLY SWIRLING SNAKES

Twirly swirling snakes shot across the room, dipping up and down as they went in a wavy movement that was pleasing to my eyeballs. I had to huddle down in the bed, warm and toasty like, to make sure I was not splackacked by one of these flying snakes that jettisoned all around the place. They seemed as if floating in liquid, but they were free levitating on the air above me. Had my atmosphere been thickened like cream? Was it sour cream? Fighting my way out of a room full of sour cream would be an utmost challenge.

DOWN ON THE FARM THERE ARE CHICKENS AND GOATS AND CATTLE ANIMALS

Down on the farm there are chickens and goats and cattle animals all looking left and right and acting real shifty like. And then when the peoples ain't looking, they all sidle on into the barn. They get out cigars and cognac and have themselves a little bonfire and bitch about the people and plot to overthrow them and kill them all. "Couldn't we just kick them off the farm and not kill them?" asked a doe-eyed cow. "Ha!" laughed Mr Chicken derisively, "You can't have a revolution without killing people." The other animals laughed and snorted, and the cow slunk away sadly. She went out behind the barn and, as the strings swelled, she sang "Someday" from West Side Story. or "Somewhere". Or whatever it is.

DOWN THE BOTTOM OF THE GARDEN THERE IS A SECRET PARADISE MADE FOR TWO

Down the bottom of the garden there is a secret paradise made for two. I will tie you up with poison ivy and it will itch you so good. I will find a leaf with just the right texture and run it underneath your breasts. I will blindfold you and kiss you and we will hear the sounds of the little babbling brook and it will be magical. When night comes we will curl up beneath the big oak tree and all the furry animals of the forest will come get on top of us and make a living blanket.

TRANQUIL TRANQUILIZER DARTS PIERCED MY NECK AND BUTTOCKS

Tranquil tranquillizer darts pierced my neck and buttocks. I felt the toxins ease into my bloodstream, a lover with a slow hand. I could feel it in my eyeballs first, a nice numbing around the back and some water out the sides. Then my knees collapsed and I slid smiling into the grass. Being on the run had been so stressful. Now all there was to do was relax and and let the terror take it's course.

THE OLD ITALIAN LADY

The old Italian lady cooked rustic bread over an open fire. Soon the children would be coming to visit the village, and she would feed them this bread with broken glass baked into it. When she saw the children wince in pain and confusion as the glass dug into the inside of their mouths, her heart would leap. She had tried to get her kicks like most grandmothers did, by being kind and loving to children, but it left her feeling cold and empty and despicable. It was only when she was hurting them, and doing it an underhanded way such as this, that she felt truly alive, zinging with purpose. Perhaps children just had too good a time of it, and this was a balancing out of the universe, and this sweet, hot, dizzying feeling was her reward.