SHOTGUN WEDDING IN THE MOUNTAINS

Shotgun wedding in the mountains with lots of garlands of rosemary worn by all, and every member of the wedding party with a shotgun, though a few of the older guests carried civil war era muskets. The groom was shaking and did a wild dance down the aisle, it caught on and made it's way down the mountain and across the country till in every discotheque, bar and barn dance folks were doing the shotgun wedding boogie. There were tales it had originated at a real shotgun wedding up in the mountains but nobody believed that gibberish. The DJ cued up a record and said "Alright kids, it's Shotgun Wedding Boogie Fever by The Starlight Express Band, I wanna see you all doing that boogie like there's a dozen shotguns pointed right at you, alright."

FRIENDLY ALIENS CAME DOWN AND SMILED AT EVERYBODY

Friendly aliens came down and smiled at everybody. They brought some of their space booze out and we all sat in the park and got a little lifted and felt the sunshine on our outer layers and they made their weird alien noises and gestures and we were feeling pretty friendly too so we smiled and chuckled. Eventually we realized a game of charades would get over the language barrier, but even though we could act stuff out, we couldn't really communicate if the other species was getting the answer right. But eventually they took out their alien boombox and played some wild space jazz and as the the sun was coming down we all got our wiggle on on the grass and and showed each other our moves and man, it was beautiful. Those friendly aliens are a gas.

I RAN OUT INTO THE STREET DANCING

I ran out into the street dancing, doing spins and leaps and twists and the pianos rang out all around me and I danced out into traffic and pirouetted all through it and over the top of cars and onto rooftops and back down onto the street and a I patted dogs and scruffed little kids on the top of their heads and kissed girls and sipped strangers drinks and kept dancing all through the neighborhood until I got to the river, and then I danced right out on top of the water, the balls of my feet balancing on the tiny ripples and riding the current and I leaned back and pulled an eel out the water and kissed it and tenderly let it slide back underwater, swooning and wiggling it's way back to the little pocket of underwater it called home.

A DRAMATIC FLURRY OF FEATHERS

A dramatic flurry of feathers greeted me as i stepped out onto the boat. I had been in the cabin counting my jewels and whispering sweet nothings to the cabin boy, and unbeknownst to me a band of angry seagulls had been gathering outside. I am a pirate and go where I care to, but seagulls are deeply divisive and protective of their territory. They felt i had sailed onto their turf without a proper parlay and they were going to rough me up. So there they were flapping and pecking at me from all angles, and i was swinging my cutlass, cutting whatever i could, sending feathers flying.

LITTLE BEAVER SIPS HIS SCOTCH

Little Beaver sips his scotch and stares out the window. The Miami sunshine is streaming through the glass, but he's painting raindrops all over it. He's trying to be cool, trying to focus on some other thing than his girl running around all over town. Hell, he's trying to be happy for her. Young lady like that, that's what she oughta be doing. Running round having a good time. He's got everything he needs here, plenty of fine silk pillows, his guitar, his hi-fi system, a nice bottle of brown liquor and a cat making figure eights around his ankles. He sighs. I can dig it, baby.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pgGjg9FLq74

INSIDE THE CHURCH ORGAN

Inside the church organ there is a family of spiders crowded around the dinner table that perches precariously on their web. The spiders are all gathered around the fly that they have to share and they are saying spider grace. In the middle of the prayer, the littlest spider leaps up and grabs the fly in it's spidery fangs and goes running off down the organ pipe. The others are aghast and give chase, but they'll never catch the baby spider. Baby spider is eating the fly as it runs for extra strength, and baby spider has the strength of determination to go clear, because today it's really going clear. It's decided that it's family are a bunch of jerks and it's gonna find a new life in a new organ with a rag tag bunch of misfit orphan organ spiders that really understand it.

LITTLE BLOBS OF PAIN

Little blobs of pain floating around so small that you not even quite sure you can see them, it's just a weird ripple of the water or a leaf or a sea cucumber or something, but you don't feel quite right, and then there's a whole bunch of big globs of pain all blobbing up and down in the water and you like, "oh shit, that's definitely a bunch of pain, at least I wasn't just imaging things and losing my mind", and by the time you finish that sentence they've blobbed up a whole lot more of them like fishing lures floating there all over the top of the water and now shit these things are just about covering the whole surface and then you think, "geez, is there even any water here any more?", and that's when you know you officially full of pain.