BOUND AT THE WRISTS AND FEET

Bound at the wrists and feet, I prepared to meet my fate in the meat grinder. As I trundled slowly along on the moving platform thing that I can't remember the name of, but it's like a belt wheel thing like what those machine trucks have that run over the skulls in the future bit of The Terminator, you know what I mean? And they throw a future grenade under it and blow the fucker up. It's some kind of moving belt thing. Anyway, so as I rolled along towards my doom, I figured as long as I'm gonna die, I might as well make a nice s&m thing out of it. So I pulled against the ropes and revelled in the feeling of them cutting against my wrists and ankles, and I shuddered in anticipation of the sweet searing blades of the meat grinder chopping me into little pieces. But just before I got there, Superman swooped in and saved me. "Way to go, Superman", I said, "you fucking cock blocker."