I STARTED TO NOTICE THAT THIS EMPTY CHILDREN'S PLAYGROUND WAS FULL OF CULTY SYMBOLS

I started to notice that this empty children's playground was full of culty symbols, goats with sashes and spinning roman numerals and pickles that had come to life and so forth. I was just starting to feel disturbed when a chill wind blew in from the arctic and sinister culty children started to emerge from behind every pipe, swing-set and tree, grinning and giggling and giving me murder eyes. I had to think fast. I picked up a large stick, tore my shirt off, wrapped it around the edge of the stick, and lit the shirt on fire. "Stay back you little devils!" I shouted. "I'm crazy!" But they could tell by the way my voice wavered that I was scared, and their little smiles turned even uglier. The feeding would soon commence.