I WORE A KEY AROUND MY NECK EVERY DAY OF MY LIFE

I wore a key around my neck every day of my life. When i showered it would get lathered with soap. When I made love, it would bang against my partners chest. When I rode a bicycle, it would hang down and clang clang clang against the metal frame. My parents told me I'd been born with the key around my little neck, and some day I would find out what it unlocked. I found this story pretty spurious, but they were very stern parents and when I would smirk at this story they would grow even sterner. So I played along. I hoped it would open a safe deposit box in some Swiss bank that contained a fortune in rubies or the soul of Cleopatra or something. I really hoped it didn't open a locker in a gym that had held somebody's sweaty underclothes for 35 years.